


your hand in mine

by jyn erso (alineppenhallow)



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Canon Compliant, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Drabble, F/M, Happy Ending, Holding Hands, Injury Recovery, Introspection, M/M, Major Character Injury, Post-Rogue One, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-04 18:31:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13370637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alineppenhallow/pseuds/jyn%20erso
Summary: For all the ugly things they had done, their entwined hands looked beautiful together.





	your hand in mine

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by this prompt: [For all the ugly things they had done, their entwined hands looked beautiful together.](https://creativepromptsforwriting.tumblr.com/post/169278833053/prompt-370-for-all-the-ugly-things-they-had-done)

Waiting in the infirmary didn’t sit well with him. Especially when everybody was running around, snatches of information shouted down corridors and across the ward. Alarms blaring. It made Cassian’s skin itch, the not knowing. 

Eventually it was too frustrating to sit, laid out in a bed and just  _waiting_  for something, anything to happen. 

He gritted his teeth and pushed himself up, vision going dark for a moment. His ribs screamed in agony and Cassian took a moment, breathing as deep as the broken bones would allow. 

A nearby medical droid beeped angrily at him but he ignored it as he slid off the bed and hobbled over to the exit. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Baze asked, his gruff voice even rougher from disuse as he sat sentinel at Chirrut’s bedside. Cassian paused at the door. His hand was already slick with sweat as he leant against the cool doorframe, he managed maybe a few feet but it felt like miles. 

Cassian rested his forehead against the wall for a brief moment, collecting his minimal strength. 

“I’m going to find out what’s happening,” Cassian answered, twisting his head to look at Baze defiantly. Baze merely cocked an eyebrow at his attitude, his large gun resting over his lap as he lent forward, no doubt to scold Cassian. 

“Not alone you’re not,” Chirrut spoke up, he was leaning heavily on his staff, standing for once instead of laid out on the bed. There was pain visible around his eyes and a gentle shake in his arms but he stood tall. His whole torso was wrapped in white bandages and it made Cassian wince in sympathy. 

Baze’s eyes closed as he groaned, “ _I_  can go with him, you stay.”

Chirrut’s lips quirked in a smile, “The force wills it, so I must go.”

“Liar,” Baze scoffed but he didn’t fight his husband. He shoved the piece of his weapon he’d been cleaning back into place with a snap, the gun hummed as power returned to it. 

“We’re all going,” Jyn stated, sliding under Cassian’s arm just like she had on Scarif. Cassian hadn’t even noticed her approach but he wasn’t surprised. He checked over his shoulder, Bodhi hovered just behind her, full of the same nervous energy mixed with determination as always. 

Jyn smiled up at him, soft and tired around the edges but still warm. He smiled back at her. 

“Let’s go then,” he said. 

* * *

 

The command centre was in chaos. 

The main console in the centre of the room flickered ominously as the countdown on a nearby screen provided damning evidence of the approach of the enemy. Rogue One hovered near the back of the room, out of the way but still able to see everything going on. 

Baze supported Chirrut on Cassian’s left, the weathered warrior whispering in Chirrut’s ear a running commentary. Bodhi was leaning over a nearby attendant’s shoulder, watching the screen that detailed the attack force and their advance on the Death Star. 

Jyn leant against the wall beside him, her whole body just as tense as his, as all of them really. Nobody was relaxed, every face held dwindling hope as time ticked by. Despite the clamouring of voices around the room, there was an odd heavy silence to things. A muffled feel to it all that Cassian hadn’t felt outside a battlefield.  

The echo of pilots chattering over the radio’s gave them live updates as their doom loomed ever closer. 

“This is it...isn’t it?” Jyn asked so quietly he nearly missed her question completely, perhaps he was meant to.

He paused, staring out across the room. He could feel it, the axe hovering over all their heads. That sense of a dark cloud descending. How could hope exist in such a space? But it did. In the pilots diving into danger, the resistance holding their ground. Just a glimmer of hope against the dark. 

“Maybe...maybe not...” Cassian answered 

“Have hope huh?” Jyn asked rhetorically, a slight tease to her tone.  

“It’s got us this far,” Cassian pointed out and Jyn smirked, her head jerking in a quick nod of agreement. 

There was an explosion that reverberated across every crackly channel and every voice quieted. 

“ _Is it a hit?”_ The whole room stilled, a heavy layer of silence settling over everyone making it near impossible to breathe. Jyn’s hand shot out and grabbed his wrist, her hold tight, almost painful. 

There was nothing for a few seconds but every silent tick of the clock seemed to stretch unendingly onwards before someone answered. 

_“Negative, Negative. Didn’t go in, just impacted on the surface,_ ” came the disappointed response. Everybody deflated and Jyn’s hold loosened but she didn’t pull away. Cassian was grateful for that.  

Her fingers around his wrist provided an anchor to the here and now. Proof that hope could prevail against every odd. He shifted his hand up, clasping her hand in his. Cassian’s skin was clammy, more than a little unpleasantly but Jyn didn’t pull away. She held strong just like him even as the battle continued.  

“ _The Death Star has cleared the planet, the Death Star has cleared the planet_ ,” the announcement echoed through the room like a nail through a wooden coffin. Unfeeling and final, hope seemed to dim around the room. 

Bodhi wandered back to their group, huddling close to Jyn’s side. Chirrut and Baze drew closer too. Around the room people reached out for one another, seeking comfort in the face of the worst outcome. 

Cassian tangled his fingers with Jyn’s. It drew her eyes to his. 

He held her gaze, channeling everything he hadn’t said...everything he felt or would feel... things he might say years from now... the future they could have... all of it crammed into a few final precious seconds. 

It wasn’t enough. 

He knew that, he desperately wanted more time. He wanted the hope that Jyn had thrown into his life kicking and screaming. He  _wanted_. For the first time in a long time, he wanted something other than the end of the Empire. For the first time, Cassian could see a future, something other than a nameless shallow grave on a backwater planet. 

His hand was scarred and calloused where her’s was smooth, only a few nicks here and there from a more sheltered life far from a fight. They’d both fought, for different things at first and then, impossibly, for the same cause. 

He’d killed, cheated and lied for the rebellion. There was blood caked into his skin that would never wash off. Jyn had stolen, clawed at the world and probably killed to survive too. 

They weren’t innocent. They weren’t a fairytale. Their story was as rough as the journey life had dragged them through. And yet, there was something beautiful about it. Through all the hardships and impossibilities they’d found each other. They’d made it here. 

Jyn leant forward, her forehead resting against his. She understood. 

Cassian breathed her in as the Death Star exploded, people whooping and grasping at each other in unbelievably joy around them. 

Chirrut was probably smiling, his faith in the force unshakeable. Baze was probably rediscovering his faith or rolling his eyes at his husband. Bodhi was bouncing around them, drawn in by the happy atmosphere and Baze’s arm around his neck, dragging him into a hug. 

But Jyn and Cassian stayed close to one another, blind and deaf to the celebrations around them. 

They’d made it across the invisible finish line, limping and bruised but victorious. 

Jyn drew back, a dazzling smile on her face. Cassian echoed it. 

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](http://jynnerrso.tumblr.com) & [Twitter](https://twitter.com/alineppenhallow)  
> 


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